The Freedom of Saying No: Why Your Kids Don’t Need the Room They’re Begging For
When Lauren Behfarin became a mom 12 years ago, she didn’t just buy a new diaper bag—she built a new career. Leaving behind a decade in IT, she launched herself into the world of interior design, specializing in children’s spaces. Now, as the founder of Little Room Supply and a mother of three children ages 12, 10, and 6, she’s lived through the baby-proofing, the glitter explosions, the purple phase, and the transition into a new era: “no more bouncy chairs and playmats, but lots of sports.”
Here’s the twist: Behfarin doesn’t believe in giving kids exactly what they ask for. Not because she’s a design dictator, but because she knows something most parents don’t: your child’s taste today is not your child’s taste tomorrow. And if you design for the wrong person (spoiler: the six-year-old who loves unicorns), you’ll be redoing that room in 18 months.
This isn’t about ignoring your kids. It’s about leading them—and yourself—toward a space that works for everyone. Here’s how.
Start with One Thing You Actually Love
Decorating a kid’s room can feel like staring at a blank wall with too many choices. Behfarin’s advice? Stop staring and start with one anchor piece.
“If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start with one piece you love,” she says. For some clients, that’s a crib they’ve obsessed over for months. For others, it’s art—like a framed piece of sheet music written by a grandparent, which became the emotional and visual foundation of an entire nursery.
If you don’t have a sentimental piece, look at wallpaper prints. A single pattern can carry the room’s tone, color palette, and texture. From there, you pull fabrics, pillows, and accents that match.
This approach isn’t just easier—it’s smarter. You’re designing from something you love, not toward something you hope will work. And that one piece will survive your child’s rotating obsessions.
Take Your Kids’ Suggestions with a Grain of Salt (and a Cup of Confidence)
Here’s the part that might make you uncomfortable.
“Too often, parents get stuck on what their kids want,” Behfarin says. “Your daughter might tell you she wants everything in her room to be purple. I’m here to tell you, lovingly, that your daughter doesn’t yet know what she’s talking about.”
That’s not harsh—it’s honest. As parents, you redirect your children hundreds of times a day: no ice cream before dinner, no running with scissors, no staying up past bedtime. Why should design be any different?
Behfarin recommends offering a curated set of choices—but only options you are happy with. “Show your child a few print options, but only offer choices you’re happy with,” she says. “You can make the kids happy while also redirecting.”
This isn’t about steamrolling their preferences. It’s about treating decor like any other parenting decision: you know the long game. A room that’s 100% purple today will be 100% eye-roll by middle school. But a room with a lavender accent wall and neutral furniture? That grows with them.
Design for the Next Phase—Because the Current One Flies Past
Kids grow fast. Like, absurdly fast. One minute you’re buying a bouncy chair, and the next you’re scheduling carpools. Behfarin has watched this play out in her own home, and in the homes of dozens of clients.
“Kids grow so fast that by the time you’ve accepted one stage, they’re on to the next,” she says. That’s the fundamental tension in children’s design: how do you invest in a space that feels age-appropriate without wasting money on a theme that will expire?
Her solution? Design with the next phase in mind.
Ask yourself: What will this room need in two years? A desk for homework. A bed that won’t look silly when they’re 15. Storage that can hold sports gear instead of stuffed animals. A neutral base that lets personal style evolve without a full renovation.
This saves time, money, and stress. You won’t be repainting walls every 18 months or replacing furniture that felt “cute” at age four but feels “babyish” at age seven.
Real-World Moves That Work
Behfarin lives what she preaches. Her own home is in transition—moving from the toddler-and-playmat era into the sport-and-homework phase. She’s not reacting to each new obsession. She’s anticipating them.
Here’s how you can do the same:
- Buy convertible furniture. A crib that turns into a toddler bed, then a full-size frame. A dresser that works from infancy through adolescence. These aren’t just practical—they’re economical.
- Go bold on accents, not anchors. A bright rug or curtains can be swapped cheaply. Wallpaper a single accent wall instead of the whole room. Let color live in things you can change.
- Invest in quality over trend. A solid wood bed frame from a reputable brand will outlast three “themes” of decor. Cheap particleboard furniture won’t survive the first growth spurt.
- Save the “themes” for decor. Your kid wants a dinosaur room? Great—buy dinosaur bedding, dinosaur lamps, and a dinosaur poster. That costs $100 and can be changed in an afternoon. Don’t paint T-Rex silhouettes on the walls unless you’re prepared to paint over them.
Why This Matters for Parents (Not Just Kids)
Here’s the unspoken truth: your home is your home, too.
Behfarin emphasizes that she designs “for parents who love it.” Because you live there. You walk past that room a dozen times a day. You clean it. You sit in it during bedtime stories.
If every surface screams “rainbow unicorn explosion,” you’re going to resent that room. And that’s not good for anyone.
You’re allowed to love the spaces your kids inhabit. You’re allowed to say no to neon pink wall-to-wall carpeting. You’re allowed to create a room that feels like it belongs in your house—not a toy store threw up in it.
“As parents, we redirect all the time,” Behfarin says. “Don’t be afraid to do that when it comes to design.”
The Parenting-Design Playbook: 3 Rules to Follow
If you take nothing else away, remember these three principles:
1. Start with one piece you love
It anchors the room and makes the rest of the decisions easier. You don’t need a full vision board—just one thing that makes you smile.
2. Offer choices, not a blank slate
Your child can choose between two prints you like, not between 50 paint swatches. You’re the parent. You set the boundaries.
3. Think two years ahead
Will that furniture still work when they’re older? Will that theme feel dated? If the answer is no, rethink it. The upfront cost of redoing a room every two years adds up fast.
The Bottom Line
Your child’s room should feel like theirs—but that doesn’t mean it should look like a Pinterest dream board assembled by a six-year-old with unrestricted screen time.
You have the experience. You have the perspective. You have the credit card. Use all three wisely.
Design isn’t about giving in. It’s about guiding. And sometimes, lovingly, saying “no” to the purple everything.
Because the best kids’ rooms aren’t the ones that scream “childhood.” They’re the ones that grow with it.